- Jenn’s Gems ✨
- Posts
- My life changed when I learned to communicate this way
Hi!
Welcome to the first edition of Gems—and thanks for being here 🙏
In this monthly newsletter, I’ll share practical + actionable life design tips for everything from building a high-performing team or business to nurturing your own personal sense of fulfillment ✅
My name is Jenn, and I am your Chief Executive Coach. You can learn more about me—and my mission to help folks achieve a meaningful, well-designed life—at the Kamara Life Design site.
Enough small talk—let’s dive in!
👉 Shaking off the Feedback Jitters
👉 How to Give Feedback Well—the KLD Way
👉 Let’s Talk About Your Feelings (Yes, Really!)
👉 Speaking of Feelings: A Bonus Round
👉 Life Design Tip: Open Communication
💐 Whether you call it Valentine’s Day, Galentine’s Day, or Overpriced Flower Day, the holiday of love has come and gone faster than you can say ‘dark chocolate’—and if you’re like me, this means you’ve been thinking about the relationships in your life 🍫
So this month, let’s zoom out and discuss how to cultivate healthy communication—in both professional AND personal relationships.
First up? How to get past the feedback jitters.
Shaking Off the Feedback Jitters
Receiving constructive feedback is one thing—but GIVING it? That’s a whole different story.
In my work with founders and execs, I’ve discovered that feedback jitters are a common affliction. And I get it. As humans, we’re wired to run AWAY from conflict. Besides, feedback sessions tend to feel…awkward 🫣
But here’s what a lot of folks don’t realize: giving feedback is a communication skill.
And like any other communication skill, it gets easier—and we get better—with practice 💪
Wondering where to start? Head to my newest LinkedIn post and learn:
💡 Why the discomfort of constructive feedback is worth the investment (+ a real-world example)
💡 How early feedback can save the day and benefit your organization—in the short AND long term
💡 3 practical + actionable tips to shake off the feedback jitters
How to Give Feedback Well—the KLD Way
When it comes to communicating well, feedback is just one piece of the puzzle—but it’s an important one 🧩
Here’s why. When constructive feedback is lacking, you’re likely to notice a lack of trust and declining performance amongst your team. When delivered well, on the other hand, it can promote healthy, non-toxic relationships and elevate performance 📈
🔑 So what’s the key to doing it right? Coming from a place of care for a person's growth with the intention to boost collaboration. In other words: authenticity—with a side of intentionality. |  |
A Framework: The KLD Model for Giving Feedback
1️⃣ Action: When you do this…
Share specific observations about the action you want to discuss—i.e., “When you show up late to our meeting 3x in a row…”
2️⃣ Impact: It makes me feel this / it has this effect…
Share the impact of their action—i.e., “it makes me feel like you don’t value my time / puts a block on other deliverables”
3️⃣ Ask: Would you be willing to…?
Offer actionable suggestions with a goal of performance improvement—i.e., “Would you be willing to organize your schedule differently so you are on time with deliverables—and if you can’t avoid running late, to give me a heads-up so I can make efficient use of my time?”
Watchouts:
✅ When RECEIVING feedback:
| ✅ When GIVING feedback:
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🚧 Remember, feedback goes both ways! It should be given AND received with the same level of appreciation and respect.
Implementation
Ready to strengthen the culture around feedback in your org? Here are some ideas to get you started:
👉 Share your own mistakes—and ask for feedback at broader meetings (i.e., all-hands, dep’t, exec)
👉 Build feedback into 1:1s—by earmarking the last 5-10 mins for this purpose
👉 Create a praise/celebrations Slack channel where folks can celebrate others’ weekly accomplishments—and then shout them out at all-hands meetings
👉 Hold office hours where employees across all levels can share feedback with you directly
👉 Tie feedback into performance plans and OKRs—to set expectations + accountability across all levels
Looking for even more in-depth info about the various feedback models? Visit the KLD Portal for access to a wealth of resources 📝
Let’s Talk About Your Feelings (Yes, Really!)
Are you fluent in the language of “feelings”? 🤔
As familiar as the subject of feelings may seem, many of us are raised to keep our feelings to ourselves or, even worse, to ignore them altogether.
But here’s the thing: feelings are crucial to giving feedback + communicating well—so let’s review the basics.
Step 1: Identify Your Feelings
The first step to expressing your feelings is naming them. So get down + dirty with your emotions—and both identify and understand the energy associated with them.
For example, the mood meter below highlights how you can have a positive high-energy emotion (i.e, inspired) and a negative low-energy emotion (i.e., lonely). Understanding the nuances of your emotions—and the energy that comes with them—can help to clarify what you need (see step 3 below). And remember: when it comes to your feelings, there are no wrong answers.
Step 2: Learn to Express Them Clearly
It’s easy to get caught up in your feelings—especially when you lack the proper way to express them. And when you’re caught up in your feelings? Your teammates, friends, and partners probably will be, too.
Follow the simple tips below to practice expressing your feelings with clarity + kindness 👇
DO: ✅ Use “I” statements (“I think,” “I feel,” etc) ✅ Practice empathy and self-love ✅ Be a good listener | DON’T: ❌ Make assumptions ❌ Make accusations ❌ Suppress emotions or “hold it in |
Step 3: Learn to Ask for What You Need
Your feelings are valid—and you deserve to be heard.
Practice expressing yourself in low-pressure situations with the KLD “Action - Impact - Ask” model. Most importantly? Be honest about what you need by making your “ask” clear and concrete.
Speaking of Feelings: A Bonus Round 🎁
No matter the circumstances, letting an employee go is never a good feeling.
But, when coupled with a compassionate mindset, the right communication skills + performance management setup can make a world of difference—and help you make the best of a less-than-desirable situation.
Check out my post on letting go of underperforming or poor-fit employees to learn:
💡 The top reasons founders + execs hesitate to let employees go
💡 Why employee coachability is make-or-break (+ a real-world example)
💡 3 tips to make performance managemen’t straightforward + less stressful
✨ Life Design Tip: Open Communication
Can you think of a time in your life recently—at work or at home—when communication was lacking?
We’ve all been there. Maybe an employee failed to let you know they’d be late submitting a key deliverable for a big project—or you and your partner miscommunicated about who would pick your child up from school.
In either case, maintaining open communication and approaching the situation with the mindset of being on the same team—whether with your friend, partner, or colleague—can steer you away from a potential minefield.
Instead of jumping in with frustration, take a beat. Then, use the KLD “Action - Impact - Ask” model to share your perspective while maintaining a team dynamic:
🤝 Accusations and assumptions rarely make for a productive conversation—so ditch ‘em! Your words should act as a bridge, not a barrier.
🤝 Shift the focus from blame to solutions by asking yourself, “How can I be an open and helpful [teammate/friend/partner] here?”
🤝 Remember: the goal of every conversation is to maintain respect. Sometimes, that means disagreeing—but two people can hold different views while still feeling heard and respected.
With these tips, you can build a foundation for future discussions—and strengthen the fabric of your relationships. And if that’s not a win-win, I’m not sure what is 🙂
Happy designing and communicating!
Until next time,
Jenn
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